| Location | Paducah, Kentucky |
| Age | 55 years |
| Cause of Death | Cancer |
| Date of Birth | 30/11/1926 |
| Date of Death | 11/06/1982 |
| Visitors | 199 since 30/03/2009 |
| Creator |
My Meme was my world.
She, my maternal grandmother, was everything I wanted to be.
Married for over 38 years at the time of her death, she was a devoted Wife, a wonderful parent, and the best grandmother any child could wish for.
She loved to sew, to read, to garden, and to square dance. She enjoyed ceramics and quilting. She loved the country, would spend her quiet summer days taking care of her family, her animals, and her self.
She never smoked, didn't drink, took yoga long before it was cool to do, and died of breast cancer young. Too young.
An incompetant doctor, her family physican, told her that the lumps in her breasts were due to her changing body, menapause, and told her to ignore it. She did. But, when the lumps grew and caused her pain, she returned to the quack to get the same wisdom. She decided on a second opinion.
At that time, it was too late. It was an aggressive form of breast cancer that had spread through out her body.
She was no quitter. She took the chemo and radiation. She lost her hair, her energy, and her dignity, but she never lost her hope.
I was 9 when she was diagnosed and I cried when she told me. Hugging her close, I told her that I knew she'd die. She smiled, comforted me, and promised me she would be at my high school graduation.
I am sure she was, but not in the way that I hoped.
She was a passionate Catholic, a true believer. I remember her telling my family that she was not afraid to die, that the only thing she feared was not being there for US.
She is never far from my mind. I feel her with me still. I see her in my face. Though I still miss her so very much...
I love you, Meme. Now and forever.
Your grandbaby,
Renee
My wings are spread, my pain is gone-Do grieve for me-but not for long.
For wondrous peace surrounds my flight-I’m gliding towards that ray of light.
So grieve for me but not for long-Remember blessings not the wrong.
My life was full and so complete-Although the end was bittersweet.
You brightened up my everyday…By things you’d do, by things you’d say.
I’ll miss my life with you on Earth, but know you gave my life it’s worth.
I’m gliding towards a perfect place-No pain or sorrow, only grace.
My wings are spread, I’m soaring strong…Do grieve for me, but not for long.
love theresa xxx
For My Meme
It has been twenty-six years
Since breast cancer fell in love
With you...
Stole you away from here From Me
Hardly a day passes without
You on my mind
I wonder if you see me...
my children
Do you touch me with unseen
Invisible fingers or gently kiss
My cheek when I sleep?
Were you were there
On those important days?
My Wedding day,
my graduation
Did you pace by my bedside
when I gave birth To your Great-grandchildren?
Or smile when I named my daughter
Your name "Melodean"?
I have endlessly racked my brain
Asking myself...
Unanswerable questions
Screaming at God, angry for His cruelty
Why you?
Why so young?
Why MY Meme? Why?!
I've needed you so badly, so often...
You, my touchstone, my advisor
You hung the moon for me and
Outshined it!
I still hear your voice in my head
Though I have days where I doubt it is really your voice
But instead, my imagination, borne to soften
The Loss of you
But I push those thoughts away
Because NOT Remembering
your voice
Or your laughter or the way you smiled,
How your lips curved upward when you spoke-
Is more than I can bear...
I want to nail down Each memory,
Every detail
Lest I forget
Some little thing
That meant the world to me,
Some detail that I might not remember
but
Cannot live without
I miss the smell of you
White Shoulders and country air
Powders and detergents,
Cleaners I can't Find, never knew names of,
Because they are one more link
To You
I linger in photo albums
Touching your image, pretending
It is your face I touch
Not the cold, slick plastic of fading, curling
Pictures you once held
I loved watching
You
It didn't matter
What you were doing, where we Were
Especially after I knew You were sick
When chemotherapy put youn bed, exhausted and nauseous
I'd sneak into your room
Lay On the floor and listen to you
Breath
I was So afraid that if you were beyond
My sight
You'd die
As if my presence Would ward off that black robed
Sickle-Carrying thief
"It doesn't even hurt anymore...See?"
You said when you grabbed my hand
Put it over the taut Stapled flesh
Once your breast
I saw the grimace
My hand felt the rumble of your steady heartbeat
And I snatched it away,
Guilty
That I had caused you pain
The last thing I ever wanted
All too soon...
You died
You died and you left me
You died after you said you wouldn't
You died
I was left alone in a bittersweet puddle of sorrow
And Precious memories collaged inside me
I see you
In my face, my green Eyes mimic your own
Tilted and pale color
This short German chin, Dimpled
A duplicate of yours
These reminders are markers of you
People recognized you by my face, knew I was made of you
I can never find the right words
I could never explain how good
How loving and kind
I could speak forever of you
Write a million poems
And not run out of words!
The summary always the same
Oh, how I love you...
How I miss You
It has been twenty-six years
Since that June day, My Meme
And I still Miss you...
Still Love you
I am so proud that you were mine
Grateful for those eleven years at Your side, under your gaze
Until my time comes to join you
My days will be haunted by your shadows
A little less sunny, a little bit gray
Yet living and breathing, I carry on
Waiting
Waiting for you...
The Funeral
Ceramic white angels sit beside the dark wooden sleeper
Which holds her in soft shades of ivory and Pink, her favorite color.
Varieties of flower smells tickled with chemicals, and perfumes, hang
Heavy and weighted like the draperies on the walls around her.
Flat voices echo through the airy room, murmuring
“She looks wonderful.” and “She looks so peaceful” randomly, unconvinced.
Black dresses with dark ribbons decorate the children who play
Unnoticed in corners as they to blend into the paneling, staying clean.
Armies mill in quiet circles, surrounding each other with teardrops and silence.
She is the display of unexpectedness. Surprise.
Her lips, chalky, not slick as they were in life when she breathed
“I love you” to her husband in WWII, or cried at the birth of her granddaughter.
The blonde wig, ill fitted and itchy, a gift from fast breast cancer,
Chemotherapy and radiation that had been in vein.
Her empty shell, hallow and mudded, the light gone.
Parades rode past her, telling her kin that she would be missed,
Stopping to remember how nice she looked when she was young,
What preserves she made from scratch! “Wasn’t that from your tree, Tom?”
“At least she isn’t suffering anymore” Perky and stylish smiling at youthful anger.
“What the hell do you know about suffering?” Gasp!
Empty rows line the open hallways, family stands in wait. Burial.
Husband, tall and white-lined, manicured mustached kisses the icy face of
The beloved and 39 years as his blue eyes float with unshed tears and words.
His granddaughter, her likeness, beside him, tucks her 11 year old hand inside
The warmth of his, latching onto his little finger with her hand. Raining tears
Fall as the family touches what is left of her ghost and the final lid is closed.
The dreary June day matches the mood of those who stand in mud in heels.
Creeping ache fills the hearts as it occurs to them that it would be the last look,
The last touch and the last remembrance and a howl fills the air.
“She wouldn’t want you to remember this day, Sweetheart….”
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